You’re Old When…

  • You can live without sex but not without your glasses.
  • You quit trying to hold in your stomach, no matter who walks into the room.
  • You enjoy watching the news.
  • The phone rings and you hope its not for you.
  • The only reason you’re still awake at 4 am is indigestion.
  • You’re proud of your lawn mower.
  • You start singing along with the elevator music.
  • You really do want a new washing machine for your birthday.
  • You routinely check the oil in your car.
  • You’ve owned clothes so long that they’ve come back into style –TWICE.
  • You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
  • You consider coffee one of the most important things in life.
  • 8 AM is your idea of “sleeping in.”
  • You write thank you notes without being told.
  • Neighbors borrow your tools.
  • You answer a question with, “Because I said so!”
  • Others ask for your recipes.
  • You start Christmas shopping in August.
  • You paint walls for a reason other than getting your deposit back.
  • You don’t like to drive after dark.
  • You say the words, “Turn that music down!” too often.
  • You point out what buildings used to be where.
  • You know all the warning signs of a heart attack.
  • You rake the yard without being told to.
  • You can’t remember the last time you lay on the floor to watch television.
  • The service station attendant lets you pump your gas before paying.

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