You Might Be a Yankee if....
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You think barbecue is a verb meaning "to cook outside."
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You think Heinz Ketchup is SPICY!
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You don't have any problems pronouncing "Worcestershire sauce" correctly.
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For breakfast, you would prefer potatoes au gratin to grits.
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You don't know what a moon pie is.
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You've never had grain alcohol.
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You've never, ever, eaten Okra.
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You eat fried chicken with knife & fork.
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You've never seen a live chicken, and the only cows you've seen are on
road trips.
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You have no idea what a polecat is.
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When ever someone tells an off-color joke about farm animals, it goes over
your head.
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You don't see anything wrong with putting a sweater on a poodle.
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You don't have bangs.
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You would rather vacation at Martha's Vineyard than Six Flags.
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More than two generations of your family have been kicked out of the same
pre-school.
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You would rather have your son become a lawyer than grow up to get his
own TV fishing show.
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Instead of referring to two or more people as "y'all," you call them "you
guys," even if both of them are women.
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You don't think Howard Stern has an accent.
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You have never planned your summer vacation around a gun-and-knife show.
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You think more money should go to important scientific research at your
university than to pay the salary of the head football coach.
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You don't have at least one can of WD-40 somewhere around the house.
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The last time you smiled was when you prevented someone from getting on
an on-ramp on the highway.
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You don't have any hats in your closet that advertise feed stores.
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You call binoculars opera glasses.
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You can't spit out the car window without pulling over to the side of the
road and stopping.
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You would never wear pink or an applique sweatshirt.
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You don't know what applique is.
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Most of your formative high school sexual experiences took place within
the context of a football game.
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You don't know anyone with two first names (i.e. Jim Bob, Billy Bob, Bob
Bob)
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You don't have any doilies, and you certainly don't know how to make one.
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You've never been to a craft show.
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You get freaked out when people on the subway talk to you.
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You can't do your laundry without quarters.
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None of your fur coats are homemade.