• If you define summer as three months of bad sledding.
• If you think Alkaline batteries were named for a Tiger outfielder.
• If you can identify an Ohio accent.
• If your idea of a seven-course meal is a six pack of Strohs and a bucket of smelt.
• If owning a Japanese car was a hanging offense in your hometown.
• If you know someone from Porch Yeurn.
• If you know what a "Yooper" is.
• If your car rusts out before you need the brakes done
• If you know what a panczki is.
• If half the people you know say they are from Detroit, yet you don't personally know anyone who actually lives in Detroit.
• If the Big Mac is something you drive across.
• If you believe "Down South" refers to Toledo.
• If "Up North" means north of Clare.
• If you drive 75 on the highway and always pass on the right.
• If your little league baseball game has ever been snowed out.
• If you know what a pastie is.
• If you knew how to drive a boat before you learned to ride a bicycle.
• If you know Mackinac rhymes with Mackinaw.
• If you occasionally cheer "Go Lions-and take the Tigers with you."
• If the word "Thumb" brings to mind a geographical rather than an anatomical definition.
• If you've ever experienced frostbite and sunburn in the same week.
• If you expect Vernor's when you order Ginger Ale.
• If you know that Kalamazoo not only actually exists, but isn't too far from Hell.
• If your favorite holidays are Christmas, Thanksgiving, and the first day of deer season.
• If your snowmobile and fishing boat have big block Chevy engines.
• If either your Mother or Father disowns you for the week of the Michigan-Michigan State game.
• If your year has two seasons-winter and construction.
• If you know what a millage is.
• If traveling coast-to-coast means going from Port Huron to Muskegon.
• If half of the change in your pocket is Canadian.
• If you point to the palm of your right hand when explaining to people where you grew up.
• If you call Lake Michigan the West Coast.
• If your definition of a small town is one that doesn't have a lake
• If your family breaks into violence during the UM-MSU game (any sport!)
• If snow tires come standard on all your cars.
• If at least 50% of your relatives work for the auto industry.
• If you learned to pilot a boat before the training wheels were off your bike.
• If you don't understand what the big deal about Chicago is.
• If someone asks you if you've been to Europe and you answer, "No, but I've been to Ann Arbor".
• If you have any idea who Bob Ufer was.
• If octopus and hockey go together as naturally as hot dogs and baseball.
• If traveling coast to coast means going from Port Huron to Muskegon.
• If you think "going up north" would be a great vacation....in January.
• If you refer to your relatives in southern Michigan as "trolls" or "lopers".
• If the "Big Three" can mean either Ford, Chrysler and GM or Domino's, Little Ceasers's and Hungry Howie's.
• If you have no problem spelling Mackinac Island.
• If you had to get a passport to go to Ohio.
• If you have as many Canadian coins in your pockets as American ones.
• If your kid's baseball and softball games have ever been snowed out.
• If the trees in your backyard have spigots.
• If you know that a place called "Kalamazoo" really exists.
• If you bake with "soda" and drink "pop".
• If you drive 70 mph on the highway and pass on the right.
• If your favorite hockey team's mascot is an octopus.
• If you have a favorite hockey team.
• If you don't have a coughing fit from one sip of Vernor's.
• If you know how to play Euchre.
• If you know how to pronounce Euchre.
• If you see nothing wrong with watching fireworks in Detroit on July 2nd.
• If you find yourself incapable of throwing cans and bottles away when you are in another state.
• If you use the term "party store" to describe a store where you buy snacks, beer and liquor.
• If you know how to pronounce Sault Ste. Marie.
• If you get excited about turning 19.
• If you or your child has ever watched Sesame Street in French.
• If you've used the term "Yooper."
• If you've heard the band "Da Yoopers."
• If you know the words to any song by Da Yoopers.
• If you've ever told someone that your move to Alpena was a move to "a big city".
• If you've totaled more than three cars bagging a deer.
• If you met your spouse in a bowling alley.
• If you can't understand why the government feels threatened by the Freemen.
• If Paradise and Climax are not states but towns to you.
• If you know that Kazoo is not a toy, but a town (who actually calls it Kalamazoo anyway?).
• If you refer to Ann Arbor as A2.