• You have an urge to steal

• You think Brookside is a 'glamorous' soap

• You think Hollyoaks is 'posh'

• You keep going on about how great Liverpool and Scousers are

• You often wonder why so many Scousers leave Liverpool and never come back.

• To you, organised crime is putting petrol in the getaway car.

• You start to cry when you hear 'Ferry cross the Mersey'

• You think that Albert Dock is 'for the tourists'. What tourists?

• You think anyone from Liverpool has a great sense of humour.

• You often wonder why you don't hear of many Scouse comedians any more