• Your dog rides in your truck more than your wife.

• You convince your wife that an overnight, out-of-state trip for equipment parts is a vacation.

• You have ever had to wash off in the backyard with a garden hose before your wife would let you in the house.

• You've never thrown away a 5-gallon bucket.

• You have used baling wire to attach a license plate.

• You have used a chain saw to remodel your house.

• You can remember the fertilizer rate, seed population, herbicide rate and yields on a farm you rented 10 years ago, but cannot recall your wife's birthday.

• You have fibbed to a mechanic about how often you greased a piece of equipment.

• You have used a velvetleaf plant as toilet paper.

• You have driven off the road while examining your neighbors crops.

• You have buried a dog and cried like a baby.