• First you must learn to pronounce the city name. It's DAL-LUS.
• Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Dallas has its own version of traffic rules... Hold on and pray.
• All directions start with, "Go down to Beltline"...which has no beginning and no end.
• The Chamber of Commerce calls getting through traffic a "scenic drive".
• The morning rush hour is from 6:00 to 10:00. The evening rush hour is from 3:00 to 7:00. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning.
• If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will get rear ended.
• Major roads mysteriously change names and direction at intersections.
• Intense construction on the highway system is a way of life, and a permanent form of entertainment.
• All unexplained sights are explained by the phrase, "Oh, we were in Fort Worth!!"
• If someone actually has their turn signal on, it is probably a factory defect.
• All old ladies with blue hair in Cadillacs have the right of way, especially in the vicinity of Neiman Marcus.
• If asking directions east of downtown, you must have a working knowledge of Spanish.
• Dallas/Fort Worth International Airport has four terminal buildings connected by one tram that never works.
• A trip across town will take a minimum of four hours. Pack a lunch.
• Don't carry money, jewelry, family, etc., on Martin Luther King FRWY. And keep all doors locked at all times.
• The wrought iron on windows near Oak Cliff is not ornamental.
• Never stare at the driver of the car with the bumper sticker that says, "Keep honking. I'm reloading."
• If you are in the left lane, and only going 70... people are not waving when they go by.
• The North Dallas Tollway is our daily version of the Nascar circuit.
• Any section of Dallas above IH-635 is considered too far and too close to Oklahoma to be driving.
• Plano and Flower Mound are not real cities, they were produced and brought to you by the nice people at Disney for the pure entertainment of housewives.