| +60 | Californians put on sweaters. Coloradans put on shorts. |
| +50 | Miami residents turn on the heat. Californians break out the heavy winter coats, hats, and gloves. |
| +45 | Vermont residents go to outdoor concert. |
| +40 | You can see your breath. Californians shiver uncontrollably. Minnesoootans go swimming. Coloradans might break out a light jacket. |
| +35 | Italian cars don`t start. |
| +32 | Water freezes. |
| +30 | You plan your vacation in Australia. |
| +25 | Ohio water freezes. Californians weep pitiably. Minnesoootans eat ice cream. Canadians go swimming. Coloradans will wear that jacket, and maybe gloves |
| +20 | Politicians begin to talk about the homeless. New York City water freezes. Miami residents plan vacation further south. |
| +15 | French cars don`t start. Cat insists on sleeping with you. |
| +10 | You need jumper cables to get the car going. |
| +5 | American cars don`t start. |
| 0 | Alaskans put on T-shirts. Coloradans admit it is cold. |
| -10 | German cars don`t start. Eyes freeze shut when you blink. |
| -15 | You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo. Arkansans stick tongues on metal objects. Miami residents cease to exist. |
| -20 | Cat insists on sleeping in pajamas with you. Politicians actually do something about the homeless. Minnesoootans shovel snow off roof. Japanese cars don`t start. |
| -25 | Too cold to think. You need jumper cables to get the driver going. |
| -30 | You plan a two week hot bath. Swedish cars don`t start. |
| -40 | Californians disappear. Minnesoootans button top button. Canadians put on sweater. Your car helps you plan your trip south. |
| -50 | Congressional hot air freezes. Alaskans close the bathroom window. |
| -80 | Hell freezes over. Polar bears move south. Green Bay Packer fans order hot cocoa at the game. |
| -90 | Lawyers put their hands in their own pockets. |
| -100 | Canadian buildings turn off air conditioning. |