To: All Employees
Subject: Special High Intensity Training
In order to assure that we continue to produce the highest quality work possible, it will be our policy to keep all employees well-trained through our program of Special High Intensity Training (S.H.I.T.). We are giving our employees more S.H.I.T. than any other company in the country.
If you feel you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. on the job, please see your supervisor. You will be placed on top of his S.H.I.T. list for special attention.
All of our supervisors are particularly qualified to see that you get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle at your own speed.
If you consider yourself to be trained enough already, you may be interested in helping us train others. We can add you to our Basic Understanding Lecture List, Special High Intensity Training (B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T.).
If you have any further questions, please address them to our Head of Training, Special High Intensity Training (H.O.T.S.H.I.T.).
Boss in General
Special High Intensity Training
PS. With the personality some of you display around here, you could easily become the Director of Intensity Programming, Special High Intensity Training.