• Your coffee stays hot all day!
• Never have to look very far to find the legal department.
• In Hell, you *know* who drank your Coke in the fridge -- Satan!
• 30% fewer "Dilbert" cartoons in the break room.
• In Hell, that devil-may-care attitude of yours comes in handy.
• You get to spend more time with your spouse now.
• No more wondering if the boss hates you.
• Riding to work in a handbasket beats the hell out of public transportation.
• Hourly dunks in searing pools of molten lava actually quite invigorating.
• Surfing porno sites all day scores *major* points with the boss!
• Your office: One free stale donut every Friday.
  Hell: One brutal mutilation of a "Full House" cast member every Friday.
• Your job? Suit and tie.
  Hell? Pitchforks and attitude, Baby!
• Ferocious reptilian demons can appreciate a good dirty joke now and then without threatening a sexual harassment complaint.
• Microwave popcorn -- without leaving your cubicle!