• New pickup line: "You'd be the hostage I kept till the end."

• Three straight days wearing his "What Would Charles Bronson Do?" T-shirt.

• His new "365 Ways to Go Berserk" desk calendar.

• Your fellow librarian starts running after patrons and stamping their faces with the "date due" stamp.

• Overheard saying to his manager, "Y2K? Not gonna be an issue, dude."

• The company newsletters on his bulletin board have push-pins through everyone's faces.

• His molar grinding is actually causing sparks.

• He suggests replacing "Casual Day" with "Wear a Bull's-eye T-shirt Day."

• Whenever you ask how he's doing, he always says, "Gruntled." Except today.

• After pumping the vending machine full of bullets, he removes all the boxes of JuJuBees, caresses each one, and whispers, "You are all my children."

• He discreetly shows you the staple gun he's converted to fully automatic.

• Right after you click the "Send" button, you hear him mutter, "I swear, the next person who sends me one of those damn jokes..."

• He's the only one at work smiling.