• The city does not employ so-called "wallet inspectors."
• Remember: regular hot dogs do not have fingernails.
• Yelling at cabdrivers in English wastes your time and theirs.
• John Gotti always has the right of way.
• Avoid paperwork for your next of kin by keeping dental records on you.
• Don't lick food from a stranger's beard.
• It's bad manners to lie down inside someone else's chalk body outline.
• Cabs driving on the sidewalk are not permitted to pick up passengers.
• If you catch an exploding manhole cover, you can keep it.
• If it doesn't smell like chili, it probably isn't.