• Suspicious increase in number of 1-900-DRILLBIT calls charged to your line.
• Uses "The Clapper" to turn power saw on and off.
• Paints the living room with 15,000 bottles of White-Out.
• Shows up with nothing but a strategically placed power drill and a butt crack the size of the Grand Canyon.
• Flaming pentangle and mutilated goats in your basement.
• Comes to work with a Bob Vila lunchbox, complete with crazy straw for the thermos.
• Left hand: sledgehammer. Right hand: Colt 45 Malt Liquor.
• On the day the insulation is to be put down, shows up wearing Pink Panther costume.
• Mike Wallace from "60 Minutes" drops by with camera crew.
• While painting: "One for the wall, one for me, one for the wall,..."
• Keeps asking you to "adjust my tool, if y'know what I mean."
• His see-through teddy shows that he's confused Victorian style with Victoria's Secret.
• Insists on spackling with his genitalia instead of with a trowel.
• Runs out of shingles and starts using baloney slices.
• Insists on trying out the new bedroom... with his entire stable of girlfriends.
• Spends hours in your bathroom, flushing the toilet and saying, "Well I'll be goldarned!"