• Some bastard keeps tuning your guitar.
• "Best non-rhyming victim in a drive-by shooting" *still* not a category.
• You're Livin' La Vida No-Talenta.
• Because Kurt Loder cannot be bought, Mister Nose Candy!
• VH-1 just completed your "Where are they now?" segment.
• Budget cuts forced you to use a white, middle-aged heterosexual male choreographer.
• Special effects? You hired an alcoholic cinematographer with the shakes, for that "Blair Witch" look.
• Your hit rap song disses women executives in the music industry; Strike One. Your proposed solution: "Slap dem 'ho's around a bit"; Strikes two and three
• Your double-major studies at Julliard severely cut into your washboard ab building time.
• Your band name: Barenaked Fat Guys
  Your video features: Barenaked Fat Guys
• You confused video award shows and submitted the tape of your cousin Earl stepping on a rake.
• The only video of you on TV this month shows you hiding a kilo of heroin in the kosher meal cart of American Airlines flight 393.
• Still no category for "Most Wasted Punk Burning Stuff at Woodstock."