• You notice your tie sticking out of your fly.
• Someone uses your tongue for a coaster.
• You start kissing the portraits on the wall.
• You see your underwear hanging from the chandelier.
• You have to hold on to the floor to keep from sliding off.
• You strike a match and light your nose.
• You take off your shoes and wade in the potato salad.
• You hear someone say, "Call a priest!"
• You hear a duck quacking, and it's you.
• You complain about the small bathroom after emerging from the closet.
• You refill your glass from the fish bowl.
• You tell everyone you have to go home... and the party's at your place.
• You ask for another ice cube and put it in your pocket.
• You yawn at the biggest bore in the room... and realize you're in front of the hall mirror.
• You pick up a roll, and butter your watch.
• You suggest everyone stand and sing the national budget.
• You're at the dinner table and you ask the hostess to pass a bedpan.
• You take out your handkerchief and blow your ear.
• You tell your best joke to the rubber plant.
• You realize you're the only one under the coffee table.