• Burger King -- Fiber's for weenies!

• Taco Bell -- Feeding potheads with the munchies for $1.50 for 30 years.

• KFC -- We're NOT a rap group, dammit!

• Popeye's -- Buy your chicken from a *real* cartoon character, not an animated dead guy.

• McDonald's -- Did somebody say McBypass?

• McDonald's -- New cooler coffee!

• Domino's -- If you're too wasted to drive, we'll bring your food to you!

• Der Wienerschnitzel -- Now with 15% less pig rectum.

• KFC -- Hey, don't give your money to those racist bastards at Denny's!

• Starbucks -- Now with 0.9% financing on the new Quad Macchiato

• Taco Bell -- Yo tengo flatulence.

• Wendy's -- If Dave doesn't give a rat's ass about his cholesterol, why should you?

• Taco Bell -- Working around the clock to invent new ways to combine the same 5 ingredients.

• KFC -- It's KFCN' awesome!