• Brisk ticket sales as fans realize they no longer need baby-sitters for their 40 year old children.

• Harmonica solo on "Bridge Over Troubled Water" seems to be in the wrong key.

• Audience shouts for "Sounds of Silence" every time Dylan sings.

• Applause causes Clapper-controlled light show to freak out.

• "Hey! Don't Bogart that Viagra, dude!!"

• Updated lyrics: "EVERYbody must get stoned... besides, it helps my glaucoma!"

• Microsoft provides cutting-edge software used to translate Dylan's vocals in real-time.

• Paul's the neat freak prude, Bob's the beer-guzzling slob.

• "Hyears to yeeewwww, Meeeeesuuus Rhhhobinson. Jesus luvs yeeeewwww mooorrrrrre than yeeeeewwwwww will knooooooow. O...O...O."

• "Now raise your cell phones way up in the air, and press star 99 like you just don't care!"

• Art Garfunkel gets chief roadie job because he's the only one who can understand Dylan's Chinese take-out order.

• PA announcer introduces them as Mumbly Spice and Shorty Spice.

• Simon's emotional ballad for Bob: "Fifty Ways to Kill Your Liver"