• When you leave a bath to run by itself, the plug jumps just as you leave the bathroom and you return to an empty bath just as the hot water runs out.

• Spiders can run round the bath faster than you can.

• If you run a bath too hot, you don't realize this until you sit in the other end and burn your rear end.

• It is physically impossible to turn a tap on or off with your foot.

• When you lie back in the bath, your right foot slips forward until it is positioned exactly beneath the dripping tap.

• The odd flannel you are using to wash yourself is not a flannel at all; it is a sock which has fallen from above.

• The dirt you wash off yourself gathers on the surface of the water and then re-attaches itself to you as you rise to leave.

• Lost soap is ALWAYS behind you.

• When you get out of the bath, the first bit you dry is the one bit you just realized you forgot to wash.

• However hard you dry yourself, you are still wet when you put your clothes on.