• She's still dressing up like Cyndi Lauper, only now people think she's Mimi from the Drew Carey show.
• He's more self-absorbed than the entire cast of Seinfeld.
• Every time they borrow a sweatshirt from your closet, they return it with the neckline all ripped out.
• His part-time job? Teaching the "Uptown Girl" dance class at Arthur Murray.
• Every ten minutes it's the same damn question - "Nancy... am I still the President?"
• *Still* spends Friday nights dialing 867-5309 and asking for Jenny.
• Your explanation to the police: After 1000 times, "Gag me with a spoon" sounded like a request.
• He's wondering why there's no Apple IIe version of Microsoft Word.
• Defensively says "They're not oldies; it's called classic rock!"
• Can't understand why Blondie wasn't at the Lilith Fair.
• Your name happens to be "Mickey," and HE WON'T QUIT SINGING THE DAMN SONG.
• Upon hearing the name "Lewinsky," declares, "I don't care what those damn reporters say, Huey Lewinsky and the News do *not blow!"