How to Handle Stress
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Jam 39 miniature marshmallows up your nose and try to sneeze them out.
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Find out what a frog in the blender really looks like.
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Forget the diet center and send yourself a candy gram.
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Dance naked in front of your pets.
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Tattoo "OUT TO LUNCH" on your forehead.
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Buy a subscription to Sleazoid Weekly and send it to your bosses wife.
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Relaxing by mentally reflecting on your favorite episode of the "Flintstones"
during an important finance meeting.
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Sit naked on a shelled hard-boiled egg.
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Refresh yourself; put your tongue on a cold steel guardrail.
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Tell your boss to blow it out his mule, and let him figure it out.
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Polish your car with earwax.
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Bill your doctor for the time spent in his waiting room.
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Lie on your back; eat celery, using your navel as a salt dipper.
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Make a tape recording of a lion roaring and play it while frolicking with
your kitten in front of the neighbors.
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Ask your neighbor if anything got broken in last night's earth quake.
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Ride up the escalator facing backwards.
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Write a letter to the editor condemning scientists for trying to wipe out
whole species like the AIDs virus.
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Phone the minister of finance and demand a tax increase.
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Send a letter of resignation from your boss to your boss' boss.
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Write your boss' resume and submit it to various headhunters.
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Phone your dentist and tell him you've changed your mind, you want that
wisdom tooth back.
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Tell your husband/wife he/she was adopted. <duh, huh?>
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Phone the university and report that you are an extraterrestrial and would
they volunteer to return to your home planet.
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Phone any government agency and ask them "So just what is it you people
do all day anyway?"