Does your church practice "Football Christianity"?

• Backfield in Motion: Making two or three trips outside the Church during Mass.
  OR:
  Making a trip to the back (restroom or water fountain) during the service.
• Bench warmer: An inactive church member.
  OR
  Those whose only participation is their attendance at Sunday Mass.
  OR
  Those who do not sing, pray, work, or apparently do anything but sit.
• The Blitz: The mad stampede for the doors as the Iconastasis doors are closed.
  OR
  The rush for the restaurants following the closing prayer.
• Blocking: Standing inside the church door complaining to the pastor about the sermon.
• Extra point: What you receive when you tell the preacher the sermon was too short.
• Draft choice: Choose a seat near the back door.
• Draw Play: What many children (and not a few adults) do with their bulletins during Mass.
• End Run: Getting out of church quick, without speaking to any guest or fellow member.
• Flex Defense: The ability to allow absolutely nothing said during the sermon to affect your life.
• Fumble: A lousy sermon.
• Halfback Option: The decision of 50% of the congregation not to return for the evening service.
• Halftime: The Choir Anthem/Offertory
  OR
  The period between Sunday School and worship when many choose to leave
• Illegal motion: Leaving before the benediction.
• Instant Replay: The preacher loses his notes and falls back on last week's illustrations.
• Quarterback sneak: Sunday school teachers entering the church building five minutes after Sunday school begins.
  OR
  People who leave Mass before it's over without grave reason.
• Stay in the Pocket: What happens to a lot of money that ought to go to the Church.
• Sudden Death: The penalty to the priest who preaches more than twenty minutes.
• Trap: You're called on to pray and are asleep.
• Two-minute warning: The chairman of the board sitting in a front-row pew, taking a look at his watch in full view of the preacher.
  OR
  The point at which you realize the sermon is almost over and begin to gather up your children and belongings.