The panicky world learns that a giant meteor will crash on earth's surface in 10 days and end it all. Reaction?

• Roman Catholics: converge on Rome for solemn papal prayers.

• Episcopalians: stage one last party before the end.

• Lutherans: "ein deutsches Bierfest" for the same reason.

• Baptists: hold biggest revival in history for one last attempt to turn the whole world Baptist before the end, whether the world wants to or not.

• Methodists: organize small groups for heart-burning prayer and testimony.

• Quakers: sit quietly and await the end.

• Mormons: plunge into the Great Salt Lake in earth's biggest baptism-by-proxy ceremony.

• Presbyterians: appoint a committee to make a thorough study of the entire situation.

• United Church: commission a study booklet so all the congregations can discuss the issue. They are to report back in two years.