• "No God -- No Peace. Know God -- Know Peace."

• "Free Trip to heaven. Details Inside!"

• "Try our Sundays. They are better than Baskin-Robbins."

• "Searching for a new look? Have your faith lifted here!"

• "Have trouble sleeping? We have sermons -- come hear one!"

• "People are like tea bags -- you have to put them in hot water before you know how strong they are."

• "God so loved the world that He did not send a committee."

• "Come in and pray today. Beat the Christmas rush!"

• "When down in the mouth, remember Jonah. He came out all right."

• "Sign broken. Message inside this Sunday."

• "Fight truth decay -- study the Bible daily."

• "How will you spend eternity -- Smoking or Non-smoking?"

• "Dusty Bibles lead to Dirty Lives":

• "It is unlikely there'll be a reduction in the wages of sin."

• "Do not wait for the hearse to take you to church."

• "If you're headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns."

• "If you don't like the way you were born, try being born again."

• "This is a ch_ _ ch. What is missing?" ---------> (U R)

• "Forbidden fruit creates many jams."

• "In the dark? Follow the Son."

• "Running low on faith? Stop in for a fill-up."

• "If you can't sleep, don't count sheep. Talk to the Shepherd."