What if biblical characters could be recruited as high-tech promoters? Consider the following tech advocates and their ad slogans:

• Noah for Match.com: We can find a mate for anything. Why not you?
• Moses for the Excedrin Headache Resource Center (Excedrin.com): Take two tablets and call me in the morning.
• The dove for UPS.com: Guaranteed delivery in 40 days and 40 nights.
• Adam and Eve for Dell: No Apples for us. We've learned the hard way.
• Solomon for Microsoft: Don't cut the baby in half.
• Joseph for Nikon Coolpix: Only Nikon can capture the 36-bit color of my megapixel dreamcoat.
• Methuselah for AARP.org: Life begins at 960.
• John the Baptist for DunkinDonuts.com: You'll be head over heels for our new Munchkin platter.
• Pharaoh for Symantec: If only we'd had Norton AntiPlague 2002 in 2002 ... B.C.E.
• Job for NASDAQ: 'Nuff said.