• The Bride of Frankenstein had big, pointy hair and a small, round ass, not the other way around.
• 'Cause you should know that wearing a white sheet in Atlanta could only lead to getting your ass whupped, Homeboy.
• Your "Naked Linda Tripp" costume is actually more nauseating than scary.
• Your "Yanni" costume got you beat up on the way to the party -- four times.
• Your Dirk Diggler costume is merely embarrassing now that your "Diggler" is stuck in the car door.
• Your beret falls off every time you kneel.
• Yellow Homer Simpson makeup? Check.
  Can of Homer Simpson "Duff Beer"? Check.
  Homer Simpson pants? DOH!!!!
• No one can tell whether you came as Abe Vigoda or Marge Schott.
• This year's guest judge, Elizabeth Dole, has apparently never even *heard* of Marilyn Manson.
• Much to your surprise, three other people came dressed as Nikola Tesla, father of alternating current.
• The judges wrongly interpreted your "Liposuction By-product" costume as a "Bowl of Tapioca Pudding" costume.
• The only song you knew to go with the costume was "Mammy," and the judges at the NAACP party were not impressed.
• *Nobody* likes a farting clown.
• After your roommate insisted on being the front legs, you began to suspect that a burrito dinner wasn't such a good idea.
• Your "Ally McBeal" barfed in the judge's trick or treat bag.
• The Nike swoosh -- while obscene to some -- is just not all that scary emblazoned on a white sheet.
• "Hey! Blue dress with a stain and a cigar! Why didn't I think of that??"
• Somehow your Snoop Dog costume just didn't go over that big at the Quayle house.
• Your kindergarten students failed to see the humor in your "Road Kill Barney" costume.
• Unlike thousands of other Monica look-alikes, the semen on your dress is not *really* the President's semen.
• Although your "Internal Bus Architecture of the Intel Celeron Chip" costume was a big hit with the other engineers at the office, things are different out in the real world.
• You can't get the zipper on your Bill Clinton costume to stay down.
• Looks like "Viagra Man" will be spending Halloween in jail for indecent exposure.
• Something in her eyes tells you there was an inherent flaw in your planof dressing up as the hostess's dead husband in order to get laid.