1. I have moss growing:
   1. In my garden
   2. In my bathroom
   3. In my kitchen
   4. On my teeth
2. When I open my mouth at parties, people:
   1. Listen
   2. Ease away slowly
   3. Stuff a live weasel down my throat
3. I think computers are:
   1. Uninteresting
   2. Interesting
   3. Too damn small for the stuff I want to do
4. I think sheep are:
   1. Uninteresting
   2. Interesting
   3. Annoyingly far away from where I live
5. The Usenet Oracle is:
   1. A pack of weenies who think about "Lisa" way too much
   2. Interesting
   3. Not appreciative of the great answers I write; the Priesthood is out to get me
6. The gender I desire to have sexual relations with is
   1. Difficult to understand
   2. Impossible to understand
   3. Clearly from a different planet
   4. How should I know? I've only seen pictures
7. Bill Gates is:
   1. Bill who?
   2. Very wealthy
   3. Head of Microsoft, which produces some widely used products
   4. The Antichrist
8. In general, people:
   1. Like me
   2. Don't like me
   3. People? What people?
9. My friends are:
   1. Diverse
   2. People I know from work or school
   3. Wearing the same clothing I am
10. My dream vacation is:
    1. Tibet
    2. Europe
    3. California
    4. In a room with lots of fluorescent lights and an unlimited supply of coffee
11. My job prospects are:
    1. Abysmal
    2. Adequate
    3. I'll never be out of work, you hear me? Never!
    4. They pay people to do this?

Score 0 for each A, 1 for each B, 2 for each C, and 3 for each D.

19 or more: Yep. You're a computer geek, all right.

13 - 18: You're a geek of some stripe or another.

7 - 12: Probably not a geek, but watch it...

0 - 6: If you're of the opposite sex, could you leave a note for me in the personals column? Please? Hello?