- "Well, it depends on your definition of 'father', Luke."
- "Who knew the Jedi Mind Trick could work on 250 million people all at once?"
- "I *absolutely* support the use of droids in the military... Okay, now I don't."
- "Oh-h-h, you're looking for a little *WOOKIE*... Well, that's different."
- "Luke, I am your father. Obi-Wan, I'm your father, too. And that Queen chick? I'm her daddy for sure. And Leia's. And Lando's, Boba Fett's, Jabba the Hutt's, Chewie's..."
- "Wretched hive of scum and villainy? Woo-hoo, count me in!"
- "I think the American people would like a little more bass in my theme music."
- "Dispose of that troublesome young Jedi, Vince Skyfoster -- and make it look like a suicide."
- "I did not have sexual relations with that wookie, Ms. Chewinsky."
- "It's a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away -- and I'm still a lyin' weasel."
- "Cholesterol does not concern me, Admiral. I want that Big Mac -- not excuses."
- "Sorry about that lightsaber, Sugar. Just consider it laser dental work."
- "These are not the droids you're looking for, Ma'am. Say, it's getting hot in here -- you might want to take off your top."
- "She's my sister?!? Well, back on my home planet of Arkansas, that ain't an obstacle!"