Twisted Mary Had a Little Lamb

Mary had a little sheep,
It went to bed with her to sleep.
The sheep turned out to be a ram,
And Mary had a little lamb!

Mary had a little lamb,
Her father shot it dead.
Now Mary takes the lamb to school
Between two hunks of bread.

Mary had a little lamb,
Its fleece was white as snow.
And everywhere that Mary went,
The lamb was sure to go.
Now Mary found the price of meat too high
Which really didn't please her.
Tonight she is having the leg of lamb,
The rest is in the freezer.

Mary had a little lamb,
She tied it to a pylon.
10,000 volts went up it's ass
And turned it's wool to nylon.

Mary had a little watch,
She kept it in her garter.
And when the boys asked her the time,
She knew what they were after.

Mary had a little lamb,
She kept in her yard.
Every time she took her panties off
His little wooly dick got hard.

Mary had a little lamb,
Its fleece was black as charcoal
Every time it jumped the fence
You could see its little arsehole

Mary had a little lamb,
The doctors were astounded.
Everywhere that Mary went
Gynecologists surrounded.

Mary had a little lamb,
The doctor was surprised.
When Old McDonald had a farm,
The poor guy nearly died.

Mary had a little lamb
A little roast, a little jam
An ice-cream soda topped with fizz
Boy, how sick our Mary is.

Mary had a li'l lamb
Its wool was soft and pink
A big bad wolf came by one day
Now Mary has a mink!


Enter recipient's e-mail:

To the Main Page