Front 9

1. You can play without risk of scandal.
2. Beats mowing the lawn.
3. Carrying clubs is considered socially acceptable.
4. Master the essential language: slice, shank, divot, bogie, green fee, sand trap, deep rough, mulligan, hacker, water hazard, double bogie, difficult lie, flub, handicap, worm burner, triple bogie, and Duffer.
5. Always a doctor nearby.
6. Would you rather do business at the office?
7. Handicap accessible.
8. Two methods to achieve a great score
   a) play as you lie
   b) lie as you play
9. Drop a few shots at the 19th hole.

Back 9

10. The worse your game, the better the exercise.
11. "Holistic" stress reduction.
12. Great excuse to take a walk.
13. Work through bad lies without having to run for office.
14. Rather sink a birdie than hook a fish.
15. Putting is such sweet sorrow.
16. Old golfers never die..they just putter out.
17. Drinking and driving is encouraged... especially by your opponents.
18. Having a ball is par for the course.