• The only pictures Ansel Adams took of it were from inside the women's shower.

• Joe Camel subbing for vacationing Smokey the Bear.

• Extremely troubled Head Ranger who blames anything that goes wrong on Scott Baio.

• A $20 cover and you still gotta pay extra for the lap dances.

• Malnourished bears holding signs that read, "Will caper amusingly for food."

• According to posted signs, not only may you feed the animals, but afterward, you have a right to expect them to put out.

• Pauly Shore's face is carved into the side of "Mount Paymore."

• Bears not only take your picnic basket at gunpoint, but also make off with your Ford Explorer.

• Your view of the scenery is blocked by reactor units #2 and #3.

• "Here we see the oldest mobile home formations in the entire White Trash National Park."

• Waterfalls seem to lose some of their majestic power whenever someone flushes a toilet.

• Proudly proclaims, "100 percent Spotted Owl Free!"

• When a squirrel runs by, park ranger bolts, screaming, "Run!! Run for your lives!!"

• Every couple hundred feet along the hiking trails -- another Starbucks.

• "Old Faithful" turns out to be a vacationing Frank Gifford.

• On the tour, you see more of the Grand Crack in the ranger's ass than you do of the canyon.