• Buy a dog a toy and it will play with it forever. Buy a cat a present and it will play with the wrapper for 10 minutes.
• Although cats are rather delicate creatures, and they are subject to a good many ailments, I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia.
• Dogs and cats instinctively know the exact moment their owners will wake up. Then they wake them 10 minutes sooner.
• Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.
• Dogs shed, cats shred.
• I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult?
• No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does.
• Outside of a dog, a book is probably man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
• I hope to be the kind of person my dog thinks I am.
• Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.
• People that hate cats will come back as dogs in their next life.
• We wonder why the dogs always drink out of our toilets, but look at it from their point of view: Why do humans keep peeing into their water bowls?
• Women and cats will do as they please ... men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
• When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem.
• In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him.