Mike McGovern, a writer, objected to having a destructive hurricane named after his sweet niece, Emily. So in next day's NY Times, he submitted the following list of more appropriate hurricane names and how these storms might behave:

• Hurricane Clinton - Moves right, then left again
• Hurricane Powell - Heads directly for the White House
• Hurricane Bush - Completely misses Middle America
• Hurricane Perot - Small but annoying
• Hurricane Dole - Eliminates roads, bridges and schools; spares only Kansas
• Hurricane Madonna - Leaves clothes strewn everywhere
• Hurricane Oprah - Gets smaller, then bigger again
• Hurricane Wallace - Hard-hitting but lasts only 60 minutes
• Hurricane Heidi - Blows the lid off Hollywood studios
• Hurricane Jordan - Stops abruptly at its peak
• Hurricane Dykstra - Devastates Atlanta and Toronto
• Hurricane Foreman - Devours everything in sight
• Hurricane Steinbrenner - Threatens to move towards New Jersey
• Hurricane Trump - Uproots giant maples