Hell is a place where ...

all the police are German;
the British are the chefs;
the Norwegians are the singers;
the French are in charge of organization;
the Australians are the lovers;
the Swiss run the navy;
the Americans are the brewers;
the Belgians put up the signposts;
all the comedians are Swedish;
the South Africans are in charge of racial integration;
the only logic is Irish;
the speech therapists are Scottish;
the Ethiopians are in charge of agricultural policy;
the Italians run the armed forces;
the Indians are in charge of birth control;
the tour companies are run by Icelanders;
all the economists are Brazilian;
the Serbs are in charge of human rights;
the Spanish are the road builders;
all the orphanages are run by Romanians;
...and the common language is Dutch;

Heaven is a place where ...

the Germans are in charge of the organization;
all the police are British;
all the environmentalists are Norwegian;
the French are the chefs;
the Swiss are the bankers;
all the salesmen are American;
the Belgians make the chocolate;
the Swedes are the lovers;
the goldmines are run by South Africans;
all the storytellers are Irish;
all the distillers are Scottish;
the opera singers are Italian;
the Danes are the brewers;
all the spices are provided by Indians;
the fishermen are Icelandic;
all the footballers are Brazilian;
the Spanish run the holiday resorts;
and the Dutch are the merchants.