Carnac the Magnificent was one of the highlights of the Johnny Carson Show. In the ongoing sketch, Carnac would draw a sealed envelope from a mayonnaise jar, and hold it to his forehead. He would then answer the question sealed inside the envelope. What is missing here is his delivery. Great sketch - and you might get lucky enough to find it on Nickoleodeon.

• A: Gatorade.
  Q: What does an alligator get on welfare?

• A: Bible belt.
  Q: What holds up Oral Roberts' pants?

• A: Milk and honey.
  Q: What do you get from a bee that has an udder?

• A: Clean air, a virgin and a gas station open on Sunday.
  Q: Name three things you won't find in Los Angeles.

• A: Black and white and twenty feet tall.
  Q: Describe Sister Mary Kong.

• A: Ben Gay.
  Q: Why didn't Mrs. Franklin have any kids?

• A: An unmarried woman.
  Q: What was Elizabeth Taylor between 3 and 5 pm on June 1, 1952?

• A: Disjoint.
  Q: What was dat hippie smoking?

• A: The Laughing Policeman.
  Q: What do you call a cop who frisks himself?

• A: Dustin Hoffman.
  Q: Describe someone cleaning his Hoffman.

• A: Until he gets caught.
  Q: How long does a United States Congressman serve?

• A: Old wives tale.
  Q: What do cannibals find hard to digest?

• A: Rub-a-dub-dub.
  Q: What does a masseuse do to your dub-dub?

• A: Shareholder.
  Q: What did Sonny Bono used to be?

• A: Skalliwags.
  Q: What does your skalli do when it's happy?

• A: David Frost.
  Q: On a cold morning what forms on your david?

• A: Head and shoulders.
  Q: What do you see if you open the trunk of the Godfather's car?

• A: Hickory Dickory Dock.
  Q: Who do you go to when you have a pain in your hickory dickory?

• A: "Rose Bowl."
  Q: What do you say when it's Rose's turn at the bowling alley?

• A: That darn cat.
  Q: Who ruined that darn rug?

• A: High rollers.
  Q: Describe a stoned bowling team.

• A: Gunga din.
  Q: What do you hear when you put an amplifier in your gunga?

• A: "Follow the yellow brick road."
  Q: What are good directions to a urologist's office?

• A: At both ends.
  Q: Where do New Yorkers put their dogs muzzles?

• A: Igloo.
  Q: What do you use to keep your ig from falling off?

• A: R-O-L-A-I-D-S.
  Q: How does a stupid person spell "backgammon"?

• A: Grape Nuts.
  Q: What are Ernest and Julio Gallo?

• A: Supervisor.
  Q: What does Clark Kent wear to keep the sun out of his eyes?

• A: Crabgrass.
  Q: What do crabs get high on?

• A: Shake-N-Bake.
  Q: Describe a double feature with Earthquake and The Towering Inferno.

• A: Blazing Saddles.
  Q: What do they put on horses at the Preparation H Ranch?

• A: Flypaper.
  Q: What do you use to gift wrap a zipper?

• A: Deep freeze.
  Q: Name an Eskimo porno film.

• A: Bedbug.
  Q: What would Republicans use to eavesdrop on a hooker?