Animals have the darndest thoughts.

• Dog: "They keep putting the lid down on the big water bowl."

• Goldfish: "Just because I have a three-second memory, they don't think I'll mind eating the same fish flakes ... Oh boy! Fish flakes!"

• Dog: "Man, why do they keep rubbing my nose in it? I already KNOW whose it is!"

• Goldfish: "The knight never comes out of the castle to fight me for dominion over the fish tank. So I must continue patrolling, for I am lord and master!"

• Parrot: "Tease, tease, tease! But do those greedy clowns ever really give me a cracker? HECK, no!"

• Cat: "Why are these people in my house?"

• Goldfish: "Oh, tap-tap-tap! There's a new one!"