• We yell for the Government to balance the budget, then take the last dime we have to make the down payment on a car.

• We yell for speed laws that will stop fast driving, then won't buy a car if it can't go over 100 miles an hour.

• We know the line-up of every baseball team in the American and National Leagues but don't know half the words in the "Star Spangled Banner".

• We'll spend half a day looking for vitamin pills to make us live longer, then drive 90 miles an hour on slick pavement to make up for lost time.

• We tie up our dog while letting our sixteen year old son run wild.

• We will work hard on a farm so we can move into town where we can make more money so we can move back to the farm.

• In the office we talk about baseball, shopping or fishing, but when we are out at the game, the mall or on the lake, we talk about business.

• We're the country that has more food to eat than any other country in the world and more diets to keep us from eating it.

• We're supposed to be the most civilized Christian nation on earth, but we still can't deliver payrolls without an armored car.

• We have more experts on marriage than any other country in the world and still have more divorces.