• Gives his age as "39, version 5."
• Hires someone to purchase a sports car and pursue young bimbos.
• Spends $6 on a new hairstyle.
• "No, honey. I didn't say I bought *a* Porsche..."
• Replaced the animated paper clip Office Assistant with a Hooters waitress.
• Grows beard and tints it gray to simulate the "look and feel" of Steven Jobs.
• Keeps buying younger and younger companies.
• Supermodel eggs? Pffft. Bill's got him a six-pack of supermodels.
• "The first rule of Microsoft Club is: Everyone Kisses My Ass In Microsoft Club!"
• Same as everybody else: Decides to run for President.
• Ignores his wife to spend time writing inappropriate code for a 16-year-old Apple Lisa.
• Changed the name of his company to EnormousHard.
• Joined the Personality Club for Men.