• "Honey, why is an 18-wheeler from Amazon.com backing into our driveway?"
• One Secret Service agent is sitting on your head while another is slapping cuffs on you.
• You are served with a search warrant for all those porn pics that keep arriving in your email box.
• Apparently, your flame war with DonCorleone@mafia.com is about to turn ugly.
• When you log on, your computer says "You've got lawsuits!"
• Your inbox is filled with sheep porno and you're strictly a goat porno kind of guy.
• You're suddenly getting more Spam than the Hormel outlet store.
• Sotheby's says the Rembrandt is yours and that you now owe them $71,000,000 and change.
• Terse "Knock it off, Oedipus" email from your Mom.
• Your wife calls you at the office to report that Pogdi, your Pakistani mail-order bride, has arrived.
• "The resistance welcomes your involvement. Your contact information has been forwarded to a local insurgent who will bring supplies and reinforcements to you immediately."