• You wake up at 3 am to go the bathroom and stop to check your email on the way back to bed.

• You name your children Eudora, Aol and Dotcom.

• You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, as if you just pulled the plug on a loved one.

• You spend half of the plane ride with your laptop on your lap...and your child in the overhead compartment.

• You decide to stay in college for an additional year or two, just for the free Internet access.

• You laugh at people with 33.6 baud modems.

• You start using smileys in your snail mail.

• You find yourself typing "com" after every period when using a word processor.com

• You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.

• You can't call your mother...she doesn't have a modem.

• You check your mail. It says "no new messages." So you check it again.

• You don't know what gender three of your closest friends are, because they have neutral screen names and you never bothered to ask.

• You move into a new house and decide to Netscape before you landscape.

• You tell the cab driver you live at http://1000.edison.garden/house/brick.html.

• You start tilting your head sideways to smile.

• After reading this message, you immediately email it to a friend.