• You can enjoy a beer all month long.

• Beer stains wash out.

• You don't have to wine and dine beer.

• Your beer will always wait patiently for you in the car while you play hockey.

• When your beer goes flat you toss it.

• Beer is never late.

• Hangovers go away.

• A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer.

• Beer labels come off without a fight.

• When you go to a bar you know you can always pick up a beer.

• Beer never has a headache.

• After you have had a beer the bottle is still worth 10¢.

• A beer won't get upset if you come home and have beer on your breath.

• If you pour a beer right you'll always get a good head.

• You can have more than one beer in a night and not feel guilty.

• A beer always goes down easy.

• You can share a beer with your friends.

• You always know you're the first one to pop a beer.

• A beer is always wet.

• Beer doesn't demand equality.

• You can have a beer in public.

• A beer doesn't care when you get home.

• A frigid beer is a good beer.

• You don't have to wash a beer before it tastes good.