I lie belly-up
In the sunshine, happier than
You will ever be.

Today I sniffed
Many dog behinds -- I celebrate
By kissing your face.

I sound the alarm!
Paper boy -- come to kill us all
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

I sound the alarm!
Garbage man -- come to kill us all
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

How do I love thee?
The ways are as numberless as
My hairs on the rug.

My human is home!
I am so ecstatic I have
Made a puddle.

I Hate my choke chain
Look, world, they strangle me! Ack!
Ack! Ack! Ack! Ack! Ack!

Sleeping here, my chin
On your foot -- no greater bliss -- well,
Maybe catching rats

Look in my eyes and
Deny it. No human could
Love you as much as I do.

The cat is not all
Bad --she fills the litter box
With tootsie rolls.

Dig under the fence--why?
Because it is there. Because it's
There. Because it's there.

I am your best friend,
Now, always, and especially
When you are eating.