• Dogs love it when your friends come over.

• Dogs don't care if you use their shampoo.

• Dogs think you sing great.

• A dog's time in the bathroom is confined to a quick drink.

• Dogs don't expect you to call when you're running late. The later you are, the more excited a dog is to see you.

• Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.

• Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.

• Dogs don't mind if you give their offspring away.

• Dogs love red meat.

• Anyone can get a good looking dog.

• If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it.

• Dogs don't shop.

• Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor.

• A dog's disposition stays the same throughout the entire month.

• Dogs never need to examine the relationship.

• A dog's parents never visit.

• Dogs love long car trips.

• Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions.

• Dogs understand that everything smaller than it is meant to be chased.

• Dogs don't hate their bodies.

• No dog ever bought Kenny G, Cher, or Barbra Streisand albums.

• No dog ever put on 100 pounds after reaching adulthood.

• Dogs never criticize.

• Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.

• Dogs never expect gifts.

• Dogs don't worry about germs.

• Dogs don't care about or get jealous of any other dog you ever had.

• Dogs like to do their snooping outside as opposed to in your wallet desk and the backs of your drawers.

• Dogs don't let magazine articles guide their lives.

• Dogs would rather you buy them a hamburger dinner than a lobster one.

• You never have to wait for a dog. They're always ready to go.

• Dogs have no use for flowers, cards, or jewelry.

• Dogs don't borrow your shirts.

• Dogs aren't catty.

• Dogs seldom outlive you.