• Monday
• Breakfast - Who can eat Breakfast on a Monday? Swallow some toothpaste while brushing your teeth.
• Lunch - Send your secretary out for six "gutbombers" - those little hamburgers that used to cost a dime but now cost sixty five cents. Also order French fries, a bowl of chili, a soft drink and have her stop on the way back for a family size bottle of Maalox.
• Afternoon Snack - Drink the Maalox.
• Dinner - Six pack of beer and Kentucky Fried Chicken three-piece Dinner, don't eat the coleslaw.
• Tuesday
• Breakfast - Eat the coleslaw
• Lunch - Go to the office vending machine and put ninety five cents in and close your eyes, push a button and eat whatever comes out swallowing it whole to prevent nausea.
• Dinner - Four tacos and a pitcher of Sangria at El Flasho's.
• Wednesday
• Breakfast - Jaws couldn't eat Breakfast after a night at El Flasho's.
• Lunch - Rolaids and a coke.
• Dinner - Drop in at a married friends house and beg for scraps.
• Thursday
• Breakfast - Order out for pizza.
• Lunch - Your secretary is out sick, check Mondays gutbomber sack for leftovers.
• Dinner - Go to a bar and drink yourself silly, when you get hungry ask the bartender for olives.
• Friday
• Breakfast - Eggs, sausage, and an English muffin at McDonalds. Eat the Styrofoam plate and leave the food. It tastes better and it's better for you.
• Lunch - Skip Lunch, Fridays are murder.
• Dinner - Steak, well-done, baked potato, and asparagus. Don't eat the asparagus, nobody really likes asparagus.
• Saturday
• Breakfast - Sleep through it.
• Lunch - Ditto.
• Dinner - Steak, Well done, baked potato, and brussel sprouts. Don't eat the Brussel Sprouts. Take them home and plant them in a hanging basket.
• Sunday
• Breakfast - Three Bloody Marys and half a Twinkie.
• Lunch - Eat Lunch? Waste a good buzz? Don't eat Lunch.
• Dinner - Chicken noodle soup - Call your mom and ask her about renting your old room.