• Analog
  • Hors d'oeurve, usually made from cheese and covered with crushed nuts

• Backup
• Opposite of go forward
• Batch Processing
• Making a lot of cookies at once
• Binary
• Possessing the ability to have friends of both sexes
• Bit
• 12 1/2 cents
• Branch
• If watered, it will grow into a computer club (see computer club)
• Buffer
• Programmer who works in the nude
• Bug
• Programmer's term for a feature
  
• An elusive creature living in a program which makes it incorrect.
  Note: the activity of "debugging" or removing bugs from a program ends when a programmer gets tired of doing it, not when all the bugs are removed
• Character Density
• The number of very weird people in the office, divided by the floor space
• Computer
• A device designed to speed and automate errors
• Computer Club
• Used to strike computer forcefully upon receiving error messages
• Coding
• An addictive drug
• Compile
• A heap of decomposing vegetable matter
• Compiler
• Noah Webster (1758-1843)
• Console
• What one does to a depressed computer
• Cursor
• An expert in 4-letter words
• Dump
• A system programmer's work area
• Feature
• Hardware limitation as described by a marketing representative
• Hardware
• The parts of a computer which can be kicked
• Keyboard
• An instrument used for entering errors into a system
• Language
• A system of organizing and defining error messages
• Loop
• See loop
• Machine-independent Program
• A program which will not run on any machine
• Microcomputer
• One millionth of a computer
• Null String
• The result of a 4-hour database search
• On-line
• The idea that a human should always be accessible
• Password
• The nonsense word taped to your terminal
• Performance
• A statement of the speed at which a computer system works. Or rather, might work under certain circumstances. Or was rumored to be working about a month ago
• Printer
• Johann Gutenberg (1400-1468)
• Quality Control
• Ensuring that the quality of a product does not get out of hand and add to the cost of its manufacture or design
• Strategy
• A long-range plan whose merit cannot be evaluated until sometime after those creating it have left the organization
• User
• Someone requiring drug rehabilitation
• 8-bit machine
• A computer selling for $1.00 (see bit)
• 16-bit machine
• A computer selling for $2.00 (see bit)