Wedding Telegrams

  • The Bureau of Meteorology forcasts rainstorms so the bride can expect a few good inches overnight.
  • Love is a thousand miles long but comes in six inch installments.
  • "The trouble with being the best man at a wedding is that you never get to prove it.
  • "Confucious say man who sink into womans arms soon have arms in womans sink.
  • Sorry I cannot be at Wedding... Please send me a photo of Bride and Groom Mounted.
  • Easy on the throttle, steady on the gears, roll her over gently and She'll last for many years.
  • Don't keep him in the dog house too often or he might give his bone to the woman next door.
  • Treat him like a flower... grab him by the stalk.
  • If you don't want the Stork to come, Shoot in the air.
  • Go for it mate. We all did!
  • All the best from Mr and Mrs Farkin and all the Farkin kids.
  • She offered her honour, He honoured her offer, and all night he was on her and off her.
  • Don't Spring on the Inner-Spring this Spring or there will be an Off-Spring next Spring.
  • Hope you honeymoon is like a train ride through the Khyber Pass, One long hard route.
  • Please remember that Brandy makes you Randy, Whisky makes you Frisky, but its a good stiff Johnny Walker that makes you Pregnant.
  • Travel Agency to Bride: The groom's face leaves at midnight. Be on it.
  • Congratulations on the termination of your isolation and may I express an appreciation of your determination to end the desperation and frustration which has caused you so much consternation in giving you the inspiration to make a combination to bring an accumulation to the population.
  • Football coach to bride: If you've tried him in 18 positions and he's still no good, pull him off.
  • Treat the Bride like a new car, go easy for the first 500.


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