For Her
- 08:15 Wake-up to hugs and kisses.
- 08:30 Weigh in 5 pounds lighter than yesterday.
- 08:45 Breakfast in bed, fresh squeezed orange juice and croissants.
- 09:15 Soothing hot bath with fragrant lilac bath oil.
- 10:00 Light workout at club with handsome, funny personal trainer.
- 10:30 Facial, manicure, shampoo & comb out.
- 12:00 Lunch with best friend at outdoor cafe.
- 12:45 Notice ex-boyfriend's wife, she has gained 30 pounds.
- 13:00 Shopping with friends, unlimited credit.
- 15:00 Nap.
- 16:00 3 dozen roses delivered by florist, card is from secret admirer.
- 16:15 Light workout at club, followed by gentle massage.
- 17:30 Pick out outfit for dinner, primp before the mirror.
- 19:30 Candlelight dinner for two followed by dancing.
- 22:00 Hot shower (alone).
- 22:30 Make love.
- 23:00 Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling.
- 23:15 Fall asleep in his big strong arms.
For Him
- 06:00 Alarm.
- 06:15 Get oral sex.
- 06:30 Massive dump while reading sports section of USA Today.
- 07:00 Breakfast, Filet mignon and eggs, toast and coffee.
- 07:30 Limo arrives.
- 07:45 Stoli Bloody Mary en-route to airport.
- 08:15 Private G4 to Augusta, Georgia (Coffee, Sports Illustrated and Wall Street Journal).
- 09:30 Limo to Augusta National Golf Club.
- 09:45 Front nine at Augusta (2 under).
- 11:45 Lunch, 2 dozen oysters on the half shell, 3 Heinekens.
- 12:15 Get oral sex.
- 12:30 Back nine Augusta (4 under).
- 14:15 Limo back to airport (Bombay martini).
- 14:30 Private G4, Augusta to Nassau, Bahamas (nap).
- 15:15 Late afternoon fishing excursion with all female (topless) crew.
- 16:30 Land World Record light tackle Marlin (1249 lbs)
- 17:00 G4 back home, massage & hand job en-route by naked Elle McPhereson.
- 18:45 Poop, shower and shave.
- 19:00 Watch CNN news-flash: Clinton resigns; Hillary and Al Gore's farm-animal video released and authenticated.
- 19:30 Dinner, Lobster appetizers, Dom Perignon (1963), 20 oz. New York Steak.
- 21:00 Remy Martin and Cuban Partagas cigar.
- 21:30 Sex with three women.
- 23:00 Massage and Jacuzzi.
- 23:45 Bed (alone).
- 23:50 12 second, 4-octave, dog-leaves-the-room flatulence expelation.
- 23:55 Giggle oneself to sleep.