My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last.

• Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, a little wine, good food and companionship. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
• We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in Florida and mine is in NY.
• I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
• I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?" "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"
• We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
• She has an electric blender, electric toaster, and electric bread maker Then she said "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.
• My wife told me the car wasn't running well, there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was, she told me "In the lake."
• My wife is on a new diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost weight, but BOY, can she climb a tree now!
• She got a mudpack and looked great for two days.Then the mud fell off...
• She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!"