• She's been on her knees more times than Billy Graham.
• She's been laid on more kitchen floors than linoleum.
• She's done more screwing than Black and Decker.
• She's responsible for more merry men than Robin Hood.
• She's turned more tricks than Harry Houdini.
• She's been boarded more times than Amtrak.
• She's been mounted more often than Trigger.
• She's been involved with more animals than Marlin Perkins.
• She's entertained more troops than Bob Hope.
• She's been at more bedsides than Dr. Kildare.
• She's been turned more ways than Rubik's Cube.
• She's spent more time under men than barstools.
• She's seen more traffic than the George Washington Bridge.
• She's had more turnovers than the International House of Pancakes.
• She's been under more sheets than the Ku Klux Klan.
• She's had more marines land on her than on Iwo Jima.
• Her body has been declared a national recreation area.
• Her diaphragms come with a service contract.
• She uses industrial strength douche.
• Her underwear is by Rubbermaid.
• Her pantyhose has a pet door.