• Signs you should break up with your boyfriend:
  1. He always scratches his crotch and says, "Damn! When is this gonna clear up?"
  2. He could use a contact lens as a condom.
  3. Taking you out to eat means firing up the grill.
  4. Everytime you want to spoon, he wants to fork.
  5. He refers to your little brother as a "real cutie."
  
  
  
• Signs you should break up with your girlfriend:
1. She carries around Bride magazine and a highlighter.
2. She thinks an anniversary occurs once a month.
3. Her lucky numbers are your pin number.
4. Your friends know her by her porn name.
5. She just can't stand the taste of "it."