Prison Pick-Up Lines

  • "Interested in serving HARD time?"
  • "Damn, you are sexy in stripes."
  • "Don't you prefer dropping bar soap instead of that liquid crap?"
  • "Is that a zip-gun carefully carved out of a piece of discarded metal found on the floor of the prison license-plate manufacturing shop in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?"
  • "You know, normally I don't give in the first 30 seconds, but I guess I'm a sucker for sheer muscle mass."
  • "Nice teeth. They'd look so much better on my the floor of my cell."
  • "Who wants to marry a multiple murderer?"
  • "I've been watching you from across the yard for awhile now, and I knew if I didn't work up the courage to just walk over here and ask you to be my bitch, I might regret it for the rest of my life."
  • "Due to a recent execution, I now have an opening for my prison bitch."
  • "Bread, water or me?"
  • "Stop by my cell later for a Lethal Injection."
  • "Hold still while I staple this centerfold to the back of your head."
  • "Did you order the Soap Drop soup?"
  • "That orange jumpsuit really brings out the red in your freshly-healed knife wound."
  • "Cinemax3 is doing another one of those Women In Prison movies soon...Wanna audition in my cell?"
  • "Wanna attend a chain gang bang?"
  • "Care to give Prisoner Johnson a weekend furlough?"
  • "You're new here... let me debrief you and introduce you to the penal system."
  • "You look even better in person than you did on America's Most Wanted."
  • "If looks could kill, you'd get 25 to life."
  • "You're getting your GED... wow, that makes me so H.O.T.!!"
  • "Is your name 'Escape Tunnel'? Because I've been digging you all night."

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