• While on routine patrol...
  I was in the car because the coffee shop was closed.
• The motorist was operating his vehicle in a reckless manner
  He had a bumper sticker that said "SLOW DOWN-DON'T FEED THE PIGS"
• The accident scene and the safety of the victims prevented this officer from doing traffic control.
  It was raining.
• This officer went out-of-service to obtain intelligence information from a street informant.
  It was too hot to ride in the car.
• I observed the suspect acting in a suspicious manner...
  The dirt-bag let go with an "Oink" as I walked by.
• Knowing the suspect had a criminal history...
  He puked on my uniform one night...
• The informant is of known credibility and has provided reliable information in the past...
  I've got two theft cases hanging over his head...
• While being arrested, this subject resisted being injured in the act...
  He ripped my shirt and broke my new mirror sunglasses...
• The motorist was cited for multiple traffic violations...
  I wrote one citation for each swear-word he used...
• Upon announcing my title and purpose, I heard a voice from inside the house say "Come in" so this writer entered through the door...
  The rock music was so loud they wouldn't have heard Patton's army so I kicked in the door.
• The members of the press at the scene were offered every courtesy within departmental policies...
  I sent then to a nonexistent address which I called the "Command Post".
• I gave the motorist a verbal warning for speeding...
  She was a good-looking blonde who owned a liquor store and who was free after my shift was over.
• The Chief appeared at the scene and took command...
  I sent him to the same address as the reporters.
• Further interview of the witness was impossible, due to conditions.
  It was my bowling night...
• The motorist eyes were glassy, he had slurred speech , was unsteady on his feet, and smelled strongly of an alcoholic beverage.
  He was howling at the moon and trying to drive the car from the back seat.
• Using only enough force to restrain the subject...
  My favorite song is "Drop-kick me Jesus Through the Goal Post of Life"
• The defendant asked this officer's advice on how to act before the judge at his arraignment...
  I told him he didn't have the balls to call the judge the same name he called me.